Young fathers inside
Over the summer, I watched a play called ‘Fathers Inside’, centred on young fathers in prison attending a workshop to explore what fatherhood meant to them. The workshop was organised because they were either fathers or about to become fathers, and wanted to help them identify actions they were going to take when they got out to establish or improve their relationships with their child/children. This thought-provoking play was brilliantly acted by a group of up and coming actors; and they convincingly portrayed all sorts of emotions and past memories of anger, pain, and frustration their characters were feeling.
They had to talk about their relationships with their father/father-figure, which turned out to be one of the triggers to how their lives had turned out the way it had. One character’s father was a criminal and was absent from home because he was in and out of jail so many times that he was more or less destined to followed in the same path – what else did he know? Even though he hated his father and way of life, he was repeating the cycle. The rest of the characters had similar heartbreaking stories of growing up in less than ideal circumstances, with their father’s absence playing a huge role of shaping them into who they had become.
Even mature men who are emotionally and financially ready to start fatherhood still face the odd anxiety, so I can’t imagine how a young father (between ages 14 and 25) feels and copes with the prospect of this impeding role. They are still too immature to fully understand the importance of fatherhood, so suffice it to say not very well – financially or emotionally. Then add ex-offender to that, and an already complex situation becomes further complicated. Some young fathers are fortunate to have family support and are motivated to complete their education or take up a vocation so they can provide for their child/children. But majority are really left to figure out the next steps of what life holds for them. So even those who want to do well by their children because of their own experience, invariably repeat the cycle of the absent father.
I know there are various ways to tackle this issue, but it is with this in mind that I have created the young fathers mentoring scheme. It is not geared specifically for young fathers who are ex-offenders but young fathers who maybe ex-offenders are welcome. I wouldn’t turn anyone away with a past history that is serious about taking this opportunity to turn his life around. The scheme is designed to raise aspirations, help restore self-confidence and self-belief and most importantly guide and support them to become someone their child/children can be proud to call Dad.
Anyone who chooses to mentor a young father would not have an easy task I agree, but it will be a very fulfilling time knowing that he would not only be contributing to improving one life, but potentially a whole community.
If you would like to explore the possibility of becoming a mentor, then call 020 3002 7899 for a non-obligatory chat; or visit http://www.divinecommunicationstrust.org.uk/young-fathers-mentoring-scheme for more information.
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